why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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