He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
