at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
