Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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