I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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