i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
