....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
