areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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