I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
