You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize