I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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