I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
