Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
