I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
