he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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