Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
