I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
