you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You left your phone here
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