Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
