Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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