You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize