WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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