You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
