I think my fart just growled at me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
