You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
