Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
