I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
