we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
