His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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