1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
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New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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