And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
