you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
