I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
