I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
