dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
