but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
