Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
