i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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