Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
