wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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