I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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