shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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