Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
