He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
