I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
