Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
