I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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