Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize