in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
