I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
