i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
