At least make sure they are 18
Why
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
