Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just want to make out with him forever
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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