"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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