I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
