Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
