I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
