I just saw a hot homeless man
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
