Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.