Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
this will be a night to untag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH