Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...

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  (804): Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon... http://tfl.nu/v4as
  Replies (5) Good night (1114) Bad night (599)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula

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  (608): i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula http://tfl.nu/sb2u
  Replies (29) Good night (4372) Bad night (1012)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.

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  (724): I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes. http://tfl.nu/hea3
  Replies (18) Good night (1078) Bad night (4184)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

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  (203): Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock? http://tfl.nu/k7ck
  Replies (27) Good night (6247) Bad night (1128)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die

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  (914): i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die http://tfl.nu/gzsu
  Replies (11) Good night (4252) Bad night (954)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.

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  (281): Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes. http://tfl.nu/y77d
  Replies (11) Good night (1023) Bad night (4241)
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  (716): View more from New York

  you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do

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  (716): you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/chus
  Replies (13) Good night (2522) Bad night (980)
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  (894): View more from

  just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit

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  (894): just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit http://tfl.nu/2422
  Replies (16) Good night (7289) Bad night (929)
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  (707): View more from California

  Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!

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  (707): Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that! http://tfl.nu/8zmt
  Replies (8) Good night (1142) Bad night (537)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements

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  (727): Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements http://tfl.nu/wb2j
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (332)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail

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  (315): Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail http://tfl.nu/sj7w
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (556)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No idea. I blame fireball.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Valid.

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  (412): Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway. (1-412): Umm (412): No idea. I blame fireball. (1-412): Valid. http://tfl.nu/n14x
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (431)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".

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  (907): The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable". http://tfl.nu/1zry
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (456)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program

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  (512): I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program http://tfl.nu/m5d9
  Replies (0) Good night (901) Bad night (267)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary

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  (315): He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary http://tfl.nu/sjvn
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (254)

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