Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"

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  (914): i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie" http://tfl.nu/2g0i
  Replies (11) Good night (790) Bad night (1572)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (2946) Bad night (547)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.

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  (317): I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best. http://tfl.nu/9ej5
  Replies (32) Good night (2849) Bad night (3147)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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  (414): they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed???? http://tfl.nu/zsp8
  Replies (39) Good night (6362) Bad night (1592)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.

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  (719): I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from. http://tfl.nu/jlyb
  Replies (2) Good night (1872) Bad night (858)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

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  (615): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/wyc5
  Replies (8) Good night (3846) Bad night (657)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose

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  (973): I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose http://tfl.nu/nvzm
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (1375)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood

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  (402): Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place (402): This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded (402): Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood http://tfl.nu/jep5
  Replies (8) Good night (1710) Bad night (762)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.

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  (902): Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure. http://tfl.nu/e9kb
  Replies (9) Good night (1955) Bad night (412)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

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  (203): Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm http://tfl.nu/zhmu
  Replies (9) Good night (944) Bad night (1701)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.

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  (407): Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out. http://tfl.nu/1dhs
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix

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  (619): I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix http://tfl.nu/k82p
  Replies (8) Good night (442) Bad night (1135)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card

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  (631): Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card http://tfl.nu/dp25
  Replies (15) Good night (752) Bad night (388)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!

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  (312): I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit. (312): It's great being a young gay man in Chicago! http://tfl.nu/tlgx
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (405)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed

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  (616): I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed http://tfl.nu/kh3f
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (146)

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