So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN