Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just google imaged poop.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So squirting runs in the family.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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