Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.

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  (864): The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college. http://tfl.nu/rxu2
  Replies (21) Good night (2739) Bad night (678)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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  (803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48
  Replies (28) Good night (706) Bad night (3145)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.

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  (412): Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye. http://tfl.nu/918u
  Replies (13) Good night (4909) Bad night (658)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.

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  (609): One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em. http://tfl.nu/70jy
  Replies (35) Good night (6762) Bad night (1045)
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  (845): View more from New York

  my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie

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  (845): my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie http://tfl.nu/7ez3
  Replies (14) Good night (1908) Bad night (3881)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover

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  (763): i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover http://tfl.nu/a65k
  Replies (13) Good night (2824) Bad night (1159)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.

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  (309): I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches. http://tfl.nu/dizl
  Replies (19) Good night (7870) Bad night (1107)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.

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  (651): We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots. http://tfl.nu/8ot5
  Replies (3) Good night (2014) Bad night (1162)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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  (727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2
  Replies (10) Good night (881) Bad night (1520)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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  (443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5
  Replies (10) Good night (923) Bad night (2029)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.

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  (204): I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL. http://tfl.nu/e718
  Replies (7) Good night (1949) Bad night (726)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day

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  (215): just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day http://tfl.nu/2xr8
  Replies (5) Good night (1247) Bad night (433)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..

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  (604): I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them.. http://tfl.nu/ddtu
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (472)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours

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  (412): Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours http://tfl.nu/cgpa
  Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (417)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck

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  (804): he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck http://tfl.nu/vp9z
  Replies (0) Good night (424) Bad night (135)

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