Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night