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• (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

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• (585): View more from New York

  Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.

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• (909): View more from California

  I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal

  (425): View more from Washington

  Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.

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