Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

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  (617): it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before. http://tfl.nu/1u0r
  Replies (20) Good night (575) Bad night (3708)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.

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  (303): And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first. http://tfl.nu/c9e0
  Replies (11) Good night (757) Bad night (3366)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.

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  (586): he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great. http://tfl.nu/bqct
  Replies (12) Good night (1408) Bad night (3320)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure

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  (813): If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure http://tfl.nu/itoo
  Replies (6) Good night (3853) Bad night (988)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS

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  (717): I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS http://tfl.nu/ohp5
  Replies (4) Good night (3448) Bad night (733)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR

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  (604): I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR http://tfl.nu/a8v0
  Replies (15) Good night (3012) Bad night (1779)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.

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  (773): At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect. http://tfl.nu/fdmy
  Replies (7) Good night (3149) Bad night (959)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills

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  (704): I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills http://tfl.nu/vb73
  Replies (10) Good night (1856) Bad night (569)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.

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  (678): I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid. http://tfl.nu/e1xm
  Replies (3) Good night (3154) Bad night (824)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

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  (678): Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min. http://tfl.nu/nnq2
  Replies (18) Good night (559) Bad night (1746)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
  Replies (6) Good night (2040) Bad night (527)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

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  (615): I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid http://tfl.nu/n6y8
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (606)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"

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  (412): When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita" http://tfl.nu/mtyx
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (460)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone

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  (917): She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone http://tfl.nu/cug7
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (321)
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  (213): View more from California

  WTF DUDE?

  (323): View more from California

  Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

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  (213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar
  Replies (6) Good night (1067) Bad night (421)

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