Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/sgts
  Replies (16) Good night (1847) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.

  (1-731): View more from Tennessee

  ohh what kind?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street. (1-731): ohh what kind? http://tfl.nu/u9xt
  Replies (18) Good night (1353) Bad night (2540)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter. http://tfl.nu/zjf3
  Replies (25) Good night (1051) Bad night (3962)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for http://tfl.nu/gqdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1349) Bad night (3572)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out http://tfl.nu/2o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (3970) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face http://tfl.nu/ob2s
  Replies (5) Good night (1254) Bad night (2276)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible http://tfl.nu/fm0j
  Replies (4) Good night (1638) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye. http://tfl.nu/9vv3
  Replies (5) Good night (1672) Bad night (2041)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr
  Replies (6) Good night (749) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states http://tfl.nu/e5c2
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic. http://tfl.nu/l4d9
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz http://tfl.nu/s64c
  Replies (3) Good night (994) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural

  (407): View more from Florida

  YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT

  (239): View more from Florida

  ..........

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural (407): YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT (239): .......... http://tfl.nu/j8fw
  Replies (8) Good night (1591) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted? (1-360): I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted. http://tfl.nu/if8l
  Replies (3) Good night (1261) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST. http://tfl.nu/uq83
  Replies (5) Good night (286) Bad night (518)

Randomize