He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
