Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
