im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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