WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
