Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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