Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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