oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
