Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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