I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
