You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
